It was a great time and during this time that I realized something. All morning, I was feeling this tension to spend the day well since we only had one day a month like this. It was after lunch that I had this Spirit induced thought: God made woman because He said Adam needed a helper, but he did not make man because He needed a helper. This idea of using the day well for God was something I began to question. Is spending the day well really what was important? It is really interesting what questions come up when you dedicate an entire day to silence. Why then are we put on earth? My stock answer is for God to show His love, but my actions and concerns revealed my belief which I acted on was something different. I must make myself useful to God, which isn't why He put Adam in the garden. Not a Bible scholar but I'm pretty sure on this one.
Somehow I keep thinking I have to bring myself in some sort of condition to God. So I arrived at this simple statement: my existence is not to be useful to God but being loved by Him. And the call on my life and Great commission are means by which God gives great dignity to my life as I am cast to join His work. There isn't any of kind of effort or pure heart that I offer to Him. I just bring myself to be loved by Him. Offer brokenness, and gain eternal healing and love. Not really much I can offer that He hasn't given in the first place too.
